Aeon Parodies
by Devil Asuka 666
Summary: When aeon's styles go wild, you see one sexy-beast Shiva, 3 feminist Magus, among others. Rated PG13 for some 'inapropriate words'.
1. Shiva

All these characters belong to Square, "I'm too sexy" is a copyright os Right Said Fred.  
  
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Author's Notes: Okay, this is my first humor fic, so please be gentle. Oh well, it's not really my first, i have done pieces of fanfiction before. Anyway, this is basically a humoristical parody about te aeons performances. Basically, in this fic, they've all been changed. Their styles, looks... anyway, see for yourself.  
  
Oh yeah, the only ones i got now are for Shiva and the Magus Sisters. And before anyone sues me: it may contain some spoilers, for those who haven't got the aeons.  
  
And by the way: my english is not so good, i'm portuguese. So if you see an error, write it in your review, and i'll correct it.  
  
As you know, it's better to read the fic with the original music, at least to see how it's like.  
  
Oh, what the hell, let's stop with this junk. On with the fic.  
  
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~~Shiva~~  
  
Yuna does the dance, but instead of the ice Shiva, comes a hot, new one (but still blue), in a tiny brazilian-like bikini. Oh, and in some high heels too.  
  
Shiva starts singing and dancing. While she sings, an entire population of paparazzi join around her, taking photos of her.  
  
Shiva singing:  
  
"I'm too sexy for my summoner, too sexy for my summoner   
  
Summoner's going to leave me  
  
I'm too sexy for my vow, too sexy for my vow  
  
So sexy it hurts   
  
And I'm too sexy for Macalania, too sexy for Macalania  
  
Bevelle and Besaid  
  
And I'm too sexy for your party   
  
Too sexy for your party   
  
No way I'll just go battling  
  
  
  
I'm an aeon, you know what I mean   
  
And I do my little show on the battle  
  
Yeah on the battle, on the battle yeah   
  
I do my little turn on the battle  
  
I'm too sexy for my ice, too sexy for my ice  
  
Too sexy by far  
  
And I'm too sexy for your pleas  
  
Too sexy for your pleas, what do you think about this ?  
  
I'm an aeon, you know what I mean   
  
And I do my little show on the battle  
  
Yeah on the battle, on the battle yeah   
  
I shake my little touche on the battle   
  
I'm too sexy for my, too sexy for my, too sexy for my  
  
'Cos I'm an aeon, you know what I mean   
  
And I do my little show on the battle  
  
Yeah on the battle, on the battle yeah   
  
I shake my little touche on the battle  
  
  
  
I'm too sexy for my temple, too sexy for my temple  
  
Poor temple, poor frosty temple  
  
I'm too sexy for my love too sexy for my love   
  
Love's going to leave me  
  
And I'm too sexy for this battle."  
  
--Shiva runs away without even battling-  
  
Yuna: Oh damnit...  
  
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Liked it ? please review, liking it or not. It was realy no hard task to write this one, but is always good to see a review. 


	2. The Magus Sisters

All the characters belong to Square, "I'm not a girl, not yet a woman" belongs to Britney (*disgusted look*) Spears, and "Beautiful" & "Can't Hold us down" belongs to XTina Aguilera.  
  
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Author's Note: well, just wanted to give a feminist look to this one. I hope it fits okay.  
  
Anyway, in case you don't remember (or just got confused), Cindy is the fat ladybug, Mindy is the cute-and-tiny bee, and Sandy is the middle sis, the tall good-looking one (i don't have a clue of what bug she is).  
  
Once again, may contain spoilers for the Magus.  
  
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~~Magus Sisters~~  
  
Yuna does the summon dance, and the sisters come. But instead of their bug cosume (ladybug, bee, and another bug i dunno), the girls wear some tiny tops and skirts. Obviously, the fiends (three Chimera Brains, in this case) get all horny with that.  
  
Yuna: What the hell...?  
  
Sandy: Now girls, remember what i taught you!  
  
Mindy and Cindy: Yes ma'am!  
  
Mindy and Cindy start singing at the same time, but their songs are different from the one they were all suppose to sing.  
  
Cindy: "I am beautiful no matter what they say  
  
Words can't bring me down  
  
I am beautiful in every single way  
  
Yes, words can't bring me down  
  
So don't you bring me down today"  
  
Mindy: "I'm not a girl  
  
Not yet a woman  
  
All I need is time  
  
A moment that is mine  
  
While I'm in between..."  
  
Sandy: Hello, girls? GIRLS?? That's not the song i taught you!  
  
Mindy: Sorry bout that, sis, we just wanted to do a little thing on our own.  
  
Cindy: Yeah, that's right.  
  
Sandy: Fine, fine. But let's get on with it, okay ?  
  
All three sisters sing:  
  
"This is for my girls all around the world  
  
Who've come across a man who don't respect your worth  
  
Thinking all women should be seen, not heard  
  
So what do we do girls?  
  
Shout louder!  
  
Letting them know we're gonna stand our ground  
  
Lift your hands high and wave them proud  
  
Take a deep breath and say it loud  
  
Never can, never will, can't hold us down!!!"  
  
When they finish singing, they start battling without Yuna's orders: each sis kicks one fiend in the balls, without the cost of one single MP.  
  
«Overkill: 999.999.999 HP»  
  
Mindy, Sandy and Cindy: Yeah !  
  
Then, the three dismiss themselves.  
  
Tidus: What was that??  
  
Yuna, looking proud: Just female emancipation.  
  
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Liked it ? please review, liking it or not. It was realy no hard task to write this one, but is always good to see a review. 


	3. Ifrit

FFX Characters belong to Square, "Light my Fire" belongs to The Doors.  
  
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Author's Notes: Back with the aeons. Fire is on the menu, wich means, Ifrit! I do some comments on the end, i don't want to use some spoilers in these notes.  
  
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~~Ifrit~~  
  
While battling a Tonberrie, Yuna does the summoning mini-dance to Ifrit: the ground under her elevates, explodes, but instead of the bad-looking-fire-dog, comes a gorgeous creature, similar to a fiery werewolf, wich is wearing somekind of tuxedo.  
  
Then, as the usual Ifrit's sequence finish, the new good-looking Ifrit holds a stunned Yuna, and drops her carefully on the ground.  
  
Ifrit: Here you are, safe and sound, darling.  
  
Looks like Ifrit's fire has other consequences. Yuna blushes like a tomato.  
  
Then, hot Ifrit drops its jacket, grabs a microphone and starts singing and moving his body, Elvis-style, while millions of histerical girl fans join around him, throwing bras and panties at him.  
  
Ifrit singing: "You know that it would be untrue  
  
You know that I would be a liar  
  
If I was to say to you  
  
Girl, we couldn't get much higher  
  
Come on baby, light my fire  
  
Come on baby, light my fire  
  
Try to set the night on fire"  
  
While singing, the fire aeon grabs a fan from the audience, and does a little tango dance with her, finishing it with a kiss. Then, he lets her go, and blinks at her. The next scene anyone can see, is the histerical fan fainting, due to the emotion.  
  
Then Ifrit turns to the fiend, with a sexy look:  
  
Ifrit singing to the fiend: "Come on baby, light my fire  
  
Come on baby, light my fire  
  
Try to set the night on fire, yeah"  
  
Then, with his eyes glowing (maybe he got in love?), the Tonberrie blushed, and melted. And i mean literally. The wizard-looking fiend soon transformed into some green-and-yellow looking soup. Then, Ifrit burned it to ashes.  
  
Ifrit: I know i'm hot ;D  
  
His fans blushed and sighed.  
  
Then, before dismissing himself, Ifrit did something that noone could predict.  
  
Ifrit: Goodbye, darling.  
  
He aproached Yuna and kissed her on the lips.  
  
Suddenly, an angry Tidus showed up: WHAT THE HELL DO YA THINK YOU'RE DOING???!!  
  
Before Tidus could tear Ifrit in two with his Caldbolg, the fire aeon disappeared.  
  
Yuna was too dizzy to think.  
  
Yuna: Holy Yevon... What happened here?  
  
Tidus was one step closer to an explosion of fury.  
  
Tidus: Next time that aeon shows up, i'll kill him. And if necessary, i'll burn down his temple!!!  
  
Wakka aproached the couple.  
  
Wakka: Hey man, calm down, ya? It was not even a kiss. It was just a touch from lips-to-lips...  
  
Tidus: I guess you're right. THIS is a kiss.  
  
Then he grabed Yuna and gave her the most wet, long, and erotic kiss ever seen on a tv screen. A french kiss mixed with a tongue kiss, of course.  
  
Yuna: Oh dear... o.o *faints*  
  
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Author's Notes (again): Well, when i thought of Ifrit, i just kept singing "come on baby light my fire", i think it fits very well in this new personality i gave Ifrit. Also, i think Ifrit should have his chapter like this because his a fire aeon. Fire equals to hot, wich equals to passion and so on. I didn't want to turn Yuna into some Aeonphile (LoL), so i made the end this way.   
  
Review please. 


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